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Quintin II v Old Streetonians III

Merit Table Match on Saturday 5th December 2009 KO 14:15  

 
 
Nameposition this week
Lee Creaser1
Jon Adcock2
Ian McDonald3
Nigel Smith5
Issac R6 $ 
Scott Urwin7
Christopher Higgins8
Joshua Topman9
Paddy Riseborough10
Christian Miller12
Alex Soignon13
Tim Doherty14 # 
Nick Akers15
Gordon Ashbury18
Ian AdcockAbsent!
Keith VinesBottled Out!
Matt CastlePresent but incorrect! 
 
 

# On-field and shameful captain 

$ New Recruit

 

 

Vodka Martinis.......and drunken bravado !! 

 

Recruitment..recruitment..recruitment....recruitment....and sh*t...like, isn't tho', bro!!!
 
This was to be the nadir of our season.....desperation had set in.....at the Quintin Old Boys' Supper Club on Friday night....
......Talentfree was like a cheap pimp, accosting any old player who wasn't on crutches to get them out for the game on the following day....offering money, martini, sex and undying love...
....several said they would be there, obviously swayed by the undying love bit, name and shame them now !!!! : Keith 'Squealing Couchon' Vines......Ian 'Greddy' Adcock.....and 'Honest' Jon Adcock.....
 
Talentfree arrived at the changing rooms at 1pm, precisement....only Shakes was there...fantastic..lets call it off!!!???? No, sadly, five more appeared in quick succession..
....Nick, Paddy, Scott, Lee and Alex....the loyal and honourable fellows...Oh bugger...we nearly had a team....!!
By 1:30.....we had 14.....including new boy...Isaac...who was nearly as pissed as Talentfree.....I love him already......the man I miss the most, Chief Constable Adcock,...Gordon, who had no kit..so we gave him a pair of blades as we were expecting big things from him...we bandaged up his gangrene....McIan wandered in....Higgins arrived in his metrosexual Mini Cooper...Josh and Flash, the rampaging Kiwis sauntered in....
 
We had no choice but take to the field....Jon Adcock volunteered to hook...a fine man....Talentfree volunteered to stand on the wing...we were set for another Quintin victory....assuming the other Adcock turned-up eventually....
....Jon, ever the professional, questioned the ref at the front row pre-match consultation as to the speed of his 'touch, pause..engage'..the ref responded that it wasn't 'pause.engage' but it wasn't 'pause.......engage' either...Jon was comforted..he knew what to do now...it was odd that Jon didn't tell the rest of us tho' !....
 
The whistle was blown...we conceded a try fairly quickly....mainly because Talentfree was more crap than usual....this game plan continued....all of the team, except him, tried their best....Paddy and Flash attempted different kick-offs to gain some advantage....Jon, Lee and McIan turned a few scrums...Gordon and Shakes held the scrum well...Isaac, Chris and Scott tackled and pummelled well...Josh scrambled his little heart out...Paddy, Flash, Alex and Nick tackled themselves into the ground....
 
Half-time...50ish-0 .....the ref asked if we wanted a short second half...I initially thought 'no, why should we?'......and the boys vehemently agreed..so a full 40, it was .. Adcock never arrived..obviously his greed for martini overtook his loyalty and he was incapable of finding Chiswick...note that he will pay for this!!
 
Second half began well...Talentfree moved to flanker, as he was useless...Isaac went into the backs....we held them for maybe 5 minutes....things were looking up....but soon the flood gates opened again until the final 10 minutes...when we had 3 players held up on their try line....a valiant effort by the pack.... 
 
At the end, it was 100 - 0....all, except one gave everything....no shame in that!
 
We went to the clubhouse..shared food and jugs with the Old Street lads...did a joint man and girl ceremony...everybody left slightly dejected...but more alive than  they had been at 2pm...
 
Final Score:    Quintin II  0 - Old Streetonians III 100

Try Scorers:     Lee Creaser nearly scored.....so he told us! 

Conversions:    n/a 

Moral of the Week:   

      Don't miss breakfast before a game....its inevitable that tiredness will takeover when the martini influence has gone!!   

Man of the Match :        Josh     did his bit!!! 

Honourable Mention :         Lee, Jon, McIan, Gordon, Shakes, Issac, Scott, Chris, Paddy, Flash, Alex and Nick....cos they turned up and honoured the fixture...! 

Girl of the Match :       Talentless Tim     for  being utterly useless...embarassing and shameful....and total crap!  

Dishonourable Mention      Mattie, Vines and the more handsome Adcock!!!! Where were they?