A Call to Arms from your 1st Team Captain
Gentlemen
Here’s to the end of our great British summer. Whilst the last drops of August rain fall on our heads, unused bbq’s and unassembled Ikea flatpacks get put away; thoughts now turn to the eight-month long Christmas party that we call the rugby season.
Say goodbye to wives, girlfriends, partners or loved ones – you won’t be needing them until next April. Instead, say hello to Saturday afternoons, running out together, making that first bone crushing tackle or scoring the first wonder try.
For as the song goes, ‘Saturday is the Rugby day’! True there are also mentions of fingers, self-pleasuring and so forth but this is the important one. For those 80 minutes we play, forgetting the worries of the world followed by the hours in the bar afterwards where we get to forget everything else!
This season will be challenging and at times hard work but this is what will make it fun. We will get to push ourselves against greater opposition than before. There will be the clichéd mix of mud and blood, tears and laughter. We have the skill and strength to really put a mark down in this league as long as we play to our potential. But whether we win or lose, we will ensure that we always stand together on the pitch (and in the bar afterwards).
Here’s to Quintin Rugby…!
Stu
2nd XV
Dear Professionals,
You can see from the rousing speech above from Stuart, the captain of the Quintin amateurs, that the season’s structure has changed within their pitifully non-competitive league….they seem insistent upon playing London French every other bl**dy week!
We, however, thrive upon change or no change at all, which ever prevails is immaterial… There is a change of structure taking place within the Middlesex and Herts. Merit Table. I am not yet in possession of the details for our division in the Merit and, therefore, do not know what our fixtures will be, but I have heard that there are new teams joining the Merit so there will be different, similarly professional outfits for us to pit ourselves against….
At this point, I can’t promise the possibility of promotion or, in deed, the dreaded demotion…but we can look forward to more shenanigans…..leading up to the odd special match, which I’m trying to arrange….including the ‘Gourmet’ match, the ‘Seaside’ match and the ‘City’ match…..think Lochaber and you will be in the right ball park!
I fully intend to take part in the Pre-season training schedule set out by Stuart because, as you aware, I need training more than any body else (potty training will be the 3rd session). I hope that many of you can join us for the training and the inevitable imbibing that will follow during the sultry early evenings in Chiswick and its environs.
We will have new recruits, who will need training in the ways of Quintin, so I expect to see Dykes, Chairman Adcock, Rear Gunner Vines, President Ashbury, Son of Ashbury, Shakes, ‘Lieutenant’ Lee May, ‘Fallen Hero’ D. Mitchell, Max ‘Cox’ Clifford, 3rd Team Captain-in-waiting Smyth, Fijian-slayer Batthews, Rejuvenated Cockring, Stuart Howe The Fcuk?, Constable Cheadle, Scooter Boy Creaser, ‘Scrum-half’ Guyver, Owen, Stacey, Sepand, Ced and their fellow professionals at least on one occasion during Pre-season……to shape and debauch these newbies'....
As part of our renewed recruitment drive, headed by Project Manager Supremo Pookie…I’m offering special prizes to anyone who brings a new player to a training session and, at least, one match…
Thanking you in advance for your professional approach to these matters!
Talentless Tim.