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| Player Bio
 Adam Smith
AKA: Footballer Age: 30 Position: Scrum Half / WIng Team: Wasps Bio: Scrum-half and political economist known for his explanation of how rational self-interest and competition, operating in a social framework which ultimately depends on adherence to moral obligations, can lead to economic well-being and prosperity. According to the apocryphal tales told by senior Hoggs in the bar, Adam used to be quick. He also used to be the top try scorer. And the place kicker  Alex Soignon
AKA: Age: Position: Team: Bio: Alex hails from France and has lived in london since 2006. Working for French car maker Renault (Nicole? Papa....), he started to play rugby in 2009 and has so far enjoyed it.......... But lets see what happens when the season starts!
 Alex Horsfall
AKA: Crazy Horse Age: 27 Position: Back Row Team: Harlequins Bio: Best known for his aggression and big tackle( s ). Likes to think of himself as the middle child of the team generally misunderstood. He has his own herd who love to come and see him wind himself trying to tackle little people. Converted from the wing he still has a backs mouth whilst playing in the forwards.
 Andrew Parker: Treasurer
AKA: Zed Age: 34 Position: Wing Team: Halequins Bio: A professional auditor, Zed’s hobbies include dressing as a woman when drunk and patiently explaining the difference between an accountant and an auditor to those who are confused about his profession. Famed for his love of cross-dressing when one over the eight, he once owned a Harley Davidson, but relinquished ownership on his death. Also, did I mention he likes to don the garments of ladyfolk when inebriated?  Andy Parsley
AKA: Flatleaf Age: 30 Position: Second / Back Row Team: Wasps Bio: Once a slave child whose parents were killed in a brutal village attack. Turning a mill until adulthood turned me into 21 stone muscle machine fuelled by revenge. Training in the gladiatorial arena and able to commune with the sprits, I am now on a mission to destroy the evil sorcerer corrupting this land and stealing all the hot women. Currently with this band of vagabonds hoping to learn the secrets of the undead from their president. Also suspect the front row may be orcs under his control. For Quintin and for Krum!!  Andy Stream
AKA: Dykie Age: 50 Position: Prop / Hooker Team: Bio: Founder member of the Quintin Youth. This prize idiot comes from a family of Idiot brothers. 1 Stream is dangerous, 3 should be avoided...
 Chris Higgins
AKA: Age: Position: Team: Bio:
 Christian Miller
AKA: Flash Age: 28 Position: Wing Team: Harlequins Bio: Hailing from NZ, the greatest rugby playing nation in the world, decided to take up playing rugby again in the UK because of the distinct lack of Samoan/Tongan/Fijian/Maori opposition, still however the smallest player on the pitch unfortunately.  Ciaran Mitchell:
AKA: Fatty Age: 31 Position: Prop Team: Wasps Bio: Club Captain Ciaran is too fat, ugly and perverted to have a nickname we can publish on a website. Amazingly the more intelligent, responsible of the Mitchell brothers  Damian Mitchell:
AKA: Damo / Flying Spud Age: 30 Position: Number 8 Team: Wasps Bio: The other Mitchell idiot on the team, Damo firmly believes that brute force, total belief in yourself and Ginsters will always see you over the line. A point he proved by being 2nd top try scorer last year despite playing 50% of his games in the front row. This year elected to the as 1XV captain we expect great things from this man.  David Cox
AKA: The Love Ferrit Age: 34 Position: Centre / Wing / Bar Team: Newcastle Bio: Apparently he works in PR and has met a couple of celebs but you would never know as he does not like to talk about it. He also has a voice and deserves to be heard.  Freddie Mills
AKA: Worst Tourist Ever!! / Satanic Age: 34 Position: Second / Back Row Team: Munster Bio: Enjoys fine wine and fine food but if he can't get that he will happily munch kebab and drink pretty much anything. Freddie is a member of the boat race team second only to Ciaran, unfortunately he then turns into a drunken oaf about 20 seconds later. Usually found giving away penalties at the bottom of the ruck he also likes stealing line out ball which he then promptly drops. Is looking forward to another season of putting his head between the bums of Mitchell and Cooney.  Gareth Whiting:
AKA: G Age: 31 Position: Centre Team: Bath Bio: angry Seth Efricahn with an unusual penchant for burnt pork sausages, Gareth currently holds the world record for the most strapping/padding/painkillers/ointments required to play 80 minutes of rugby. Opinion in the club is divided as to whether he is a Bionic Man created by an evil genius or a man on the brink of physical collapse, one tackle away from being reduced to rubble.  Gordon Ashbury: President
AKA: El Presidente Age: 70 Position: Second Row Team: Springboks Bio: Founder member of Quintin RFC in 1885. Gordon is still playing at the ripe old age of 168. The Iron man of the Quintin 2nd Row - Gordon is a firm believer that 2nd rows should never touch the ball.  Howard Stainio
AKA: Age: 29 Position: Scrum Half Team: Bio: Was born, went to school, played some rugby, went to USA not so much rugby, university - graduated, rugby again (Ashford RFC), work in City, move to London, joined Quintin - life is complete
Ian MacDonald 
AKA: McIan Age: 38 Position: Second Row Team: Sale Bio:  James Munro 1XV Captain
AKA: Mini Tim Age: 33 Position: Centre / Flanker Team: Leicester Tigers Bio: An image conscious man by nature, James hires a Porsche every week to bring to rugby so that people do not see him driving his efficient but ugly G-Wizz street car. Currently re-taking his GCSE maths he has aspirations of one day working the Meat Counter at Hammersmith Tesco.  James Petrie
AKA: Age: 27 Position: Full Back Team: Western Force Bio:
 Jon Rushton
AKA: Age: Position: Front Row Team: Bio:
John Sanger
AKA: Sangwar Age: 12 Position: Centre / Wing Team: Bath Bio: Graduated from the Institute of Prima Donnadom in 2006, majoring in Superstar Delusions. Was swiftly brought down to Earth on leaving university and discovering the best I could hope for was some crappy little shield for scoring tries, and even that was dependent on no bastard kiwis coming over and stealing my glory.
 Keith Vines
AKA: Vinsey Age: 47 Position: Hooker Team: Stade Bio: Club Historian Vines is known for his tall tales of yester year. Often used as a punishment in Tour Courts - conversation with Vinesy is to be avoided at all costs
 Lee May 2XV Captain
AKA: May Lee Age: Unknown Position: Fly Half / Centre Team: Harlequins Bio: Silcoates school, rugby league at Uni, played on the wing for Alnwick RFC, joined Q's at the turn of the century. After moving further away from the scrum in my earlier career I am well into the long journey back to the front row where it all started 29 years ago.  Mattie Castle
AKA: B.M.C. Age: 25 Position: Wing Team: Bio:  Matt Pickin: Chairman
AKA: Pookie Age: 33 Position: Fly Half Team: Leeds Bio: A fly half in mind and front row in body, Pookie is very fond of butter.
 Mike Guyver: VETS Manager
AKA: Michelle / RoboGuyver Age: 36 Position: Second / Back Row Team: Wasps Bio: 01000111 01110101 01111001 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100010 01110010 01101111 01101011 01100101 01101110 00100000 01110011 01110111 01101001 01111010 01111010 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110011 01110100 01101001 01100011 01101011  Mike Merritt Homes
AKA: Age: Position: Team: Bio:  Nick Akers
AKA: Sex Pest Age: 27 Position: Full Back / Utility Back Team: Liverpool (I have no idea what he is talking about here) Bio:
 Nigel Smith: Club Secretary
AKA: Shakes Age: 58 Position: Second Row Team: Wasps Bio: Shakes is the glue that holds together the disperate band of Quintin Brothers. Famed for his second row partnership with El Presidente, when their arthritic knees lock the scrum is going no-where. Oliver Holcomb
AKA: Hermione Age: Position: Team: Bio:
 Owen O'Conner
AKA: Big Game Hunter Age: Position: Team: Bio  Paddy Risebourgh
AKA: Age: Position: Team: Bio:  Rob Wixey:
AKA: Granny Shagger Age: 25 Position: Back Row / Prop Team: Ospreys Bio: Rufus
AKA: Age: Position: Team: Bio:
 Russell de Cogan
AKA: Angry Man Age: Position: Team: Bio:
 Scott Urwin
AKA: Age: Position: Second Row Team: Bio:
 Sam Shutt
AKA: Age: Position: Scrum Half / Fly Half Team: Bio:  Sepand
AKA: Age: Position: Scrum Half Team: Bio:
Simon Keenan
AKA: Hairdresser Age: Position: Team: Bio:  Simon Thompson
AKA: Cockring Age: 34 Position: Second Row Team: Bio:  Stuart Cooney: Club Captain
AKA: Elizabeth Age: 30 Position: Hooker Team: Harlequins Bio: Cooney is 2nd in command of the mysterious Ginger League. He seized control of the 1st team and led the team to promotion in his first year in charge. Success is frowned upon by the senior members of the committe - his card is marked.  Tim Doherty:
AKA: Talentless Age: 47 Position: Front Row Team: He buys and sells them for fun!! Bio: This city philanthroper is known to buy kebabs for young Quintins.  Will Carter
AKA: Willy Age: 29 Position: Wing Team: Wasps Bio: Mild mannered and often broken, Will spends a lot of time shouting for Sanger to pass the ball, either in the game or from the sidelines whilst nursing a new injury. The key to his playing success was recently discovered by making sure he is very angry by stealing his food or insulting his training gloves.
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