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Player Bio
  
  

 
 Adam Smith
AKA:  Footballer
Age:  30
Position:  Scrum Half / WIng
Team: Wasps
Bio: Scrum-half and political economist known for his explanation of how rational self-interest and competition, operating in a social framework which ultimately depends on adherence to moral obligations, can lead to economic well-being and prosperity. According to the apocryphal tales told by senior Hoggs in the bar, Adam used to be quick. He also used to be the top try scorer. And the place kicker 
 
 

Alex Soignon
AKA: 
Age: 
Position: 
Team:
Bio: Alex hails from France and has lived in london since 2006.  Working for French car maker Renault (Nicole? Papa....), he started to play rugby in 2009 and has so far enjoyed it.......... But lets see what happens when the season starts! 

 

 
Alex Horsfall 
AKA: Crazy Horse
Age: 27
Position: Back Row
Team: Harlequins
Bio: Best known for his aggression and big tackle( s ). Likes to think of himself as the middle child of the team generally misunderstood.  He has his own herd who love to come and see him wind himself trying to tackle little people.  Converted from the wing he still has a backs mouth whilst playing in the forwards.
 
  
Andrew Parker:  Treasurer 
AKA:  Zed
Age:  34
Position:  Wing
Team: Halequins
Bio: A professional auditor, Zed’s hobbies include dressing as a woman when drunk and patiently explaining the difference between an accountant and an auditor to those who are confused about his profession. Famed for his love of cross-dressing when one over the eight, he once owned a Harley Davidson, but relinquished ownership on his death. Also, did I mention he likes to don the garments of ladyfolk when inebriated?
 
 
 Andy Parsley
AKA:  Flatleaf
Age:  30
Position:  Second / Back Row
Team: Wasps
Bio: Once a slave child whose parents were killed in a brutal village attack. Turning a mill until adulthood turned me into 21 stone muscle machine fuelled by revenge. Training in the gladiatorial arena and able to commune with the sprits, I am now on a mission to destroy the evil sorcerer corrupting this land and stealing all the hot women. Currently with this band of vagabonds hoping to learn the secrets of the undead from their president. Also suspect the front row may be orcs under his control. For Quintin and for Krum!! 
 
 

Andy Stream
AKA: Dykie
Age: 50
Position: Prop / Hooker
Team:
Bio: Founder member of the Quintin Youth. This prize idiot comes from a family of Idiot brothers. 1 Stream is dangerous, 3 should be avoided...  
 
 
 

Chris Higgins
AKA: 
Age: 
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Christian Miller
AKA: Flash
Age: 28
Position: Wing
Team: Harlequins
Bio: Hailing from NZ, the greatest rugby playing nation in the world, decided to take up playing rugby again in the UK because of the distinct lack of Samoan/Tongan/Fijian/Maori opposition, still however the smallest player on the pitch unfortunately.
 
 
 
Ciaran Mitchell:  Club Captain / Fixtures Secretary
AKA:  Fatty
Age:  30
Position:  Prop
Team: Wasps
Bio: Club Captain Ciaran is too fat, ugly and perverted to have a nickname we can publish on a website. Amazingly the more intelligent, responsible of the Mitchell brothers
 
 
 
Damian Mitchell:  Social Secretary 
AKA: Damo / Flying Spud
Age: 28
Position: Number 8
Team: Wasps
Bio: The other Mitchell idiot on the team, Damo firmly believes that brute force, total belief in yourself and Ginsters will always see you over the line.  A point he proved by being 2nd top try scorer last year despite playing 50% of his games in the front row.  This year elected to the role of Social Sec, he is the man responsible for getting you hammered.
 
 

Dan Richards 
AKA: Dan
Age: 23
Position: Full Back / Centre
Team: Leister
Bio: Award winning full back (won simply for playing the position of fullback), my rugby career stems back to when I was a wee lad and my dad told me Ballet was for girls and that real men played rugby. 
 
 
 
 
David Cox
AKA: The Love Ferrit
Age: 34
Position: Centre / Wing / Bar
Team: Newcastle
Bio: Apparently he works in PR and has met a couple of celebs but you would never know as he does not like to talk about it.
 
 
 

Freddie Mills 
AKA: Worst Tourist Ever!! / Satanic
Age: 34
Position: Second / Back Row
Team: Munster
Bio: Enjoys fine wine and fine food but if he can't get that he will happily munch kebab and drink pretty much anything. Freddie is a member of the boat race team second only to Ciaran, unfortunately he then turns into a drunken oaf about 20 seconds later. Usually found giving away penalties at the bottom of the ruck he also likes stealing line out ball which he then promptly drops. Is looking forward to another season of putting his head between the bums of Mitchell and Cooney.
 
 
Gareth Whiting:  Club Development Officer
AKA:  G
Age:  30
Position:  Centre
Team: Bath
Bio: angry Seth Efricahn with an unusual penchant for burnt pork sausages, Gareth currently holds the world record for the most strapping/padding/painkillers/ointments required to play 80 minutes of rugby. Opinion in the club is divided as to whether he is a Bionic Man created by an evil genius or a man on the brink of physical collapse, one tackle away from being reduced to rubble.
 
 
 
 Gordon Ashbury:  President
AKA:  El Presidente
Age:  69
Position:  Second Row
Team: Springboks
Bio: Founder member of Quintin RFC in 1885. Gordon is still playing at the ripe old age of 168. The Iron man of the Quintin 2nd Row - Gordon is a firm believer that 2nd rows should never touch the ball.
 
 

Howard Stainio
AKA: 
Age: 29
Position: Scrum Half
Team:
Bio: Was born, went to school, played some rugby, went to USA not so much rugby, university - graduated, rugby again (Ashford RFC), work in City, move to London, joined Quintin - life is complete
 
 
 
                          Ian MacDonald 
AKA:  McIan
Age:  38
Position:  Second Row
Team: Sale
Bio: 
 
  
 
 
 
James Barr
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James Munro 
AKA: Mini Tim
Age: 33
Position: Centre / Flanker
Team: Leicester Tigers
Bio:  An image conscious man by nature, James hires a Porsche every week to bring to rugby so that people do not see him driving his efficient but ugly G-Wizz street car.  Currently re-taking his GCSE maths he has aspirations of one day working the Meat Counter at Hammersmith Tesco.
 
 

Jon Rushton
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John Sanger
AKA: Sangwar
Age:  12
Position:  Centre / Wing
Team: Bath
Bio: Graduated from the Institute of Prima Donnadom in 2006, majoring in Superstar Delusions. Was swiftly brought down to Earth on leaving university and discovering the best I could hope for was some crappy little shield for scoring tries, and even that was dependent on no bastard kiwis coming over and stealing my glory.
 

Jon Adcock
AKA: Fat Lady
Age: 
Position: Front Row / Fly Half
Team:
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Keith Vines
AKA: Vinsey
Age: 47
Position: Hooker
Team: Stade
Bio: Club Historian Vines is known for his tall tales of yester year. Often used as a punishment in Tour Courts - conversation with Vinesy is to be avoided at all costs
 

Kerr Nimmo 
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Lee May 
AKA:  May Lee
Age:  Unknown
Position:  Fly Half / Centre
Team: Harlequins
Bio: Silcoates school, rugby league at Uni, played on the wing for alnwick rfc, joined Q's at the turn of the century. After moving further away from the scrum in my earlier career I am well into the long journey back to the front row where it all started 29 years ago.
 
 

Matt Pickin:  Chairman
AKA:  Pookie
Age:  33
Position:  Fly Half
Team: Leeds
Bio: A fly half in mind and front row in body, Pookie is very fond of butter.
 

Mike Guyver
AKA: Michelle / RoboGuyver
Age: 36
Position: Second / Back Row
Team: Wasps
Bio: 01000111 01110101 01111001 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100010 01110010 01101111 01101011 01100101 01101110 00100000 01110011 01110111 01101001 01111010 01111010 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110011 01110100 01101001 01100011 01101011
 
 
 

Mike Merritt Homes
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Nick Akers
AKA: Nakers
Age: 27
Position: Full Back / Utility Back
Team: Liverpool (I have no idea what he is talking about here)
Bio: 
 
 
 
 

Nigel Smith:  Club Secretary
AKA:  Shakes
Age:  58
Position:  Second Row
Team: Wasps
Bio: Shakes is the glue that holds together the disperate band of Quintin Brothers. Famed for his second row partnership with El Presidente, when their arthritic knees lock the scrum is going no-where. 
 
 
Oliver Holicomb 
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Owen O'Conner 
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Phil Miller
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Richard Hudson 
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Richard Jones
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Rob Wixey:  Club Coach
AKA: 
Age: 25
Position: Back Row
Team: Ospreys
Bio: 
 
 
 
Russell de Cogan
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Scott Urwin
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Sam Shutt 
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Sepand
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Simon Keenan 
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Simon Thompson 
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Stuart Cooney:  1XV Captain / Recruitment Officer
AKA:  Elizabeth
Age:  29
Position:  Hooker
Team: Harlequins
Bio: Cooney is 2nd in command of the mysterious Ginger League. He seized control of the 1st team and led the team to promotion in his first year in charge. Success is frowned upon by the senior members of the committe - his card is marked.
 
 
 

Terry Macauley
AKA: No show / Macka
Age: 42
Position: Fly Half / Full Back
Team:
Bio: Terry often finds it difficult to sleep before a big game and occasionally requires a few whiskey night caps on a Friday to help him get to sleep.  He tries his best at rugby but his real talent and passion is for Morris dancing.  Having been brought up on the traditions of the Irish river dance, the transition to Morris upon moving to England was so effortless that he is now semi - professional and ranked 17 in the UK.
 
 
 
 Tim Doherty:  2XV Captain
AKA:  Talentless
Age:  47
Position:  Front Row
Team: He buys and sells them for fun!!
Bio:  This city philanthroper is known to buy kebabs for young Quintins.
 
  
 
 

Will Carter
AKA: Little Willy
Age: 29
Position: Wing
Team: Wasps
Bio: Mild mannered and often broken, Will spends a lot of time shouting for Sanger to pass the ball, either in the game or from the sidelines whilst nursing a new injury. The key to his playing success was recently discovered by making sure he is very angry and banning him from relations with the ladies, something that the guys will make sure continues with consummate ease.