09/02/2008

Quintin 88-7 Bec Old Boys

TRIES: Adam 3, Sanger 3, Zed 2, Ryan 2, Wilson, Phil, Damo, Dan R. CONVERSIONS Sanger 8, Dan R

After GWR pulled out of the first XV league fixture, giving us a 25 point walkover, our fixtures secretary had to angrily organise a club game in order to avoid a second consecutive week without a match and the inevitable descent into mediocrity that would result in. Happily he did a sterling job, resulting in Bec Old Boys making the trip to CSSC where a combination of bright sunshine, a strong side taking the field and the always-welcome chance to play on the main pitch invited Quintin to play some free-flowing rugby.

The first half started well with Quintin showing they were easily the better side, dominating the breakdown and destroying both set pieces, with Flatleaf in particular jumping excellently to steal a lot of their ball. Since it’s not Watson writing the report for once, I feel obliged to point out that the backs also did things worth mentioning – running good lines in the centres, making breaks and half-breaks everywhere and gaining yards with good tactical kicking and the result was three early tries to assert our dominance.

However, in traditional Quintin style somewhere in the collective subconscious we decided the game was done and dusted and produced our usual period of sloppiness, missed tackles, stupid penalties, getting drawn into handbags etc. and allowed Bec to cross the line for their only points of the game. While we continued to dominate play and scored more tries, the rest of the half was far from perfect, particularly the sudden rash of pointless offloads to give the ball away.

The second half, however, was a different story. Aside from restart catching which would have shamed Monty Panesar, Quintin gave one of the best displays of dominating and finishing off a weaker opponent this reporter has ever seen (perhaps Brian Ashton should have videoed it to show his players the next day?). We came out after the break organised and clinical and started running in well-worked tries from all over the field. Then, on about 60 minutes tragedy struck. First of all, a hilarious succession of dropped passes on the right flank ended with Adam crossing the line to add to his first-half score, then the horror was doubled when not five minutes later he somehow ended up with the ball and a clear run to the line. Damo valiantly attempted to chase him down and tackle him, but even in his twilight years Adam can still outrun the former slowest-centre-in-the-world record holder and grounded the ball for his hat-trick, to groans from his teammates.

Over the last couple of years we have got used to one-sided tryfests like this but more often than not the last quarter descends into farce with 15 players all eyeing up the Colin Smith shield. On Saturday however we kept playing rugby right to the final whistle, everyone did their job, we created countless opportunities and finished them off stylishly, the score finishing 88-7. Reports that place-kicking was weak, however, are unfounded – this reporter can testify that the wind was a lot stronger than it seemed, the ground underfoot was dodgy, the pimples on the ball made it behave funny in the air, the kickers boots were made from the wrong sort of leather, the tee was too high, the clouds behind the posts were moving in a distracting way, shockwaves from earthquakes in Indonesia kept making the ball wobble just as it was about to be struck and the posts were at least two metres narrower than the IRB’s regulation width.

Man of the match – Zed. A triumphant return with a brace of tries showing his instinct for scoring hasn’t deserted him.

Girl of the Match – Damo. Blood is thicker than water my arse. The dastardly theft of a try from his brother combined with his inability to prevent Adam from completing his hat-trick earned the man a well-deserved spritzer.

Honourable mention – Ian McIan of the clan McIan. Inducted into the legendary Front-Row Union. Can now look forward to living out the rest of his rugby-playing days with a hooker’s tongue in his ear.